What will happen in an Intro to Tantra session for men?
The session begins with deep connection. We get to know one another and get a sense of our shared energy. Each session is tailored to your specific needs and desires, so each session looks different. I will give an example or a possibility of what we may do during a session.
We most frequently begin with a short visualization where you drop your awareness into your body and notice whats happening, so as we work together you will be able to sense the subtleties of whats happening. This ability is the same skill as being able to sense subtle changes in the woman you’re with. We will notice all the activity inside the body and then find where stillness lies in the body. Arousal is birthed from this stillness. Learning to experience arousal in its most pure state can take an entire session. Most of us have guilt and shame connected to our first experience of arousal so the arousal that moves us during lovemaking is often based in the mind. We are trying to get somewhere, have an agenda, and are trying to chase an orgasm or good feeling in the body. In our time together we are going to move through the layers of arousal in your body and hopefully meet what I call the “pure snow” arousal. This arousal has no agenda. It is pleasure at its source. When you allow this to move your body and inform your lovemaking, you fundamentally change as a lover. You can sense and feel your partner in a new way because you are fully present. You are without agenda, being moved and rocked by the deepest pleasure you have ever experienced. And it only intensifies. This is best explained by experiencing and is very hard to understand through the medium of language.
As we continue to build the energy, your normal “go to” is probably anticipating ejaculation. In tantra male ejaculation is understood as the giving away of your life force. It ages you. When you ejaculate you’re sleepy and exhausted afterwards, correct? When you breathe with your arousal and allow it to fill your entire body, and then do not ejaculate, you are pumped full of pleasure and will experience tingling, a buzzing, and a floating. And lots of power.
I do not recommend ejaculating regularly. During our session it will be a non issue. Your energy will be so beyond any experience of arousal you’ve had before that you will be full up with the buzzing and electricity of it. From here I will explain to you how you can harness this energy and bring it into your sexual life.
The session may include cuddling, different tantric exercises that we do together, eye gazing, breathing together.
Kegels aren’t just for women. There’s no better method to strengthen the pelvic region than to create a strong pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle), which can help control ejaculation. The easiest way for you to find this muscle is to see if you can stop the flow of urine when you go to the bathroom. It’s the PC muscle that you use to urinate. Once you find it, you need to practice feeling exactly where it is located and make sure you engage and isolate it, rather than using your abdominals, buttocks, or thighs. (These must all stay loose when doing Kegel exercises.) To do Kegels, you quickly clench and release the PC muscle repeatedly for ten seconds. Do three sets, with a ten-second break between sets. If you contract your PC muscle when you’re close to orgasm, you’ll be able to plateau and ride the next wave of orgasm.
Sex that is truly explorative is more than just traditional physical pleasure. When you approach orgasm, cease stimulation (i.e., pull out or stop moving), then contract the PC muscle and lower your chin to your chest (this is important, as it prevents energy from rising too high and making you feel ungrounded). Then draw in a breath, feeling the warmth of sexual energy rise upwards in your body. Repeat this as needed, until the desire to release is no longer urgent. Then, you’ll be able to continue and do this over and over again, experiencing orgasm after orgasm.
Keep repeating this for as long as you wish or as long as time as allows. You will notice that each time you raise your sexual energy you will achieve increasingly greater levels of pleasure each time until you reach a point at which you absolutely have to ejaculate……at this point, go for it. As you ejaculate make sound as this will allow you to continue to ejaculate for as long as you are making sound. However, you do have a choice, and if you decide that you want to retain you ejaculate, then you might want to try this technique. Why would you want to retain your ejaculate? Because it is your life force, your chi, and you can safely draw it up (called the Big Draw) and use it for healing. You’ll feel super charged and ready to run a marathon. But don’t worry, you won’t get blue balls. You’ll be drawing the energy up as opposed to locking it into your groin, which causes blue balls.
When, you’ve peaked for the last time, instead of doing the deep breathing as before, this time take in a deep breath. At the same time tighten your muscles in your perineum and anus, touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth and look upward to your forehead. Hold all these activities for as long as you can before releasing it. When you do release it, however, just let the breath totally go. If your body starts spasming, don’t be afraid, just enjoy these sensations as all this is your built-up sexual energy releasing into your body….you are experiencing what Tantrics call Full Body Orgasm.
What will happen in an Tantra Intro session for women?
It greatly depends on why the woman is seeking out learning about Tantra. If it’s healing sexual trauma or abuse, we begin with learning a somatic meditation that will allow us to integrate the trauma with emptiness/stillness so you can experience pleasure again in your body. We also can do physical healing work inside the Yoni, which is the motherboard of our emotional systems. All emotions are stored in the pelvis. If you experience pain during intercourse or sexual arousal, it stems from painful emotions repressed and stored there. Holding these points of pain along with holding stillness has profound results.
If you are interested in learning about tantra to enhance your life, I can teach you how to move the arousal in your groin throughout your entire body, achieving a whole body orgasm. We will explore relaxing fully into pleasure and not resisting it. There are many avenues to explore here and it greatly depends on your inclinations and interest.
Where and when can I touch you and how will I know?
The focus of our time together is your surrender and learning to receive. I am going to give to you from the depths of my being, and fill you with sweetness and love. You get to lean back and receive unconditional love. When we greet I will give you a deep, long hug, and from there the journey will begin of your deep relaxation and surrendering to my touch, warmth, and direction. I am a very naturally affectionate person and I do not keep the same clinical boundaries that most white tantric providers do. However, I stay fully clothed and so will you. There will be some light touch during our session. Eventually if you stick with this training I will teach you how to touch in a way that will floor your lovers. All of that can be done fully clothed. You can make love with all your clothes on. When you master this, imagine what lovemaking will be like!
If you love to give and it’s hard to imagine not giving while you are receiving, consider this a challenge. See how much you can open to receiving without trying to source your pleasure outside yourself. You need the other person to “feel good,” believe me, I do feel good. I’m sourcing my yumminess from inside, from the life force that flows through me and lights up my groin. I find that we aren’t as open to receiving as we think we are. This is an extraordinary opportunity to experience intimacy without having to manage or care take for the other person. I am care taking and loving on you. You are relaxing and pushing on the edges of how much pleasure you can take in. I know you’ll find this to be deeply satisfying in a way that will take you by surprise.
Once you find how to receive, and can touch me from this powerful place of sourcing your pleasure from inside yourself, then you can offer me a “giving touch” as opposed to a “taking touch.” Most men say they are touching to pleasure me but they are not. They offer a taking touch, which is to pleasure themselves. They energetically are taking, wanting to feel good. This touch does not feel good to women. They know when you are giving and when you are taking. I can teach you how to give and get a woman to soften and open, and it is through the process of you learning how to soften and open. I myself have given “taking” touch. Women and men do it equally.
How are you different from other practitioners?
I take this work very seriously. I experience as much joy and ecstacy as you do during our time together. I am a natural giver, and I know how to create a deep, intimate and sacred space because I have done the deep work to truly love myself unconditionally and liberate myself sexually. I am a passionate and erotic guide to your sensual healing and liberation. As a devotee I seriously screen my clients to find those who will be able to meet me in the exquisite space I provide. You can take anyone into a castle and they will appreciate it, but not everyone can see and understand the depth of design and intention that went into the creation of the space. I want to work with clients who can sense the depth of intention and presence that I carry. I am so very sweet and can be so intensely intimate with my clients. I want to dote on you and relax into our connection because I know you will respect me, see me and honor me as the goddess that I am.
Are you open to doing BDSM or fantasy play?
No, not really. Clients who have wanted domination sometimes really love our sessions together because I structure our time together and I’m naturally dominant. More than anything I love to be in my body while you are in your body. My biggest turn on is hearing you breath heavy and deep, feeling your energy buzz and tingle and flow. I’m interested in holding the parts of you that fantasize and find out what they’re needing. What is the cause of wanting to be spanked? What need does it meet? This is where I’m interested in engaging with these desires. Not from actually performing them but noticing in your body when arises in response to the desire.
Do you offer sensual massage?
There are many amazing practitioners in Asheville that offer sensual massage. I do not offer this service. I find the work I am offering to be far more powerful for relaxation and spiritual growth. If you are a fan of sensual massage and enjoy deep connection, I guarantee you will enjoy my tantric offerings. I’ve never had a disappointed client that I know of. I always ask how my clients have enjoyed the experience and I get honest reviews. I know its not for everyone as self connection is not everyones cup of tea. But I know what most do not: that the yumminess we all seek is not outside ourselves but inside. That is the greatest gift I can offer. A little light to illuminate the path. I hope I get to go inside with you.
How should I prepare for my session?
Thanks for asking this question.
Theres getting physically prepared and then there’s emotional preparation. On the physical front, I ask that you take a shower, doing a thorough job cleaning your anus, and please refrain from wearing any heavy scents. Please give special attention to your nether regions. Especially if you’re a smoker, please make sure to freshen your breath before you arrive. If someone smells like an ashtray it is very unpleasnt for me.
I have a few questions that I will ask you. If I gave you a magic wand and you could have anything you want: physical, a state of being, an experience in yourself- anything, what would you ask for? What would this give you that you don’t have now? I want to breath that into you in our time together. I want to support you becoming the most elevated, alive, thriving version of yourself possible. Sexual energy is extremely powerful and as we cultivate it we find a huge potential to transform our being and support us re-wiring our brain with beliefs that empower and encourage. We can strengthen our confidence, self worth and self connection through the magic of our sexual energies. They are the divine moving through us. The divine wants us to shine and be the light in the world.
The greatest gift we can offer the world is to be as radiant, open, and wondrous as the day we came in. Stop looking outside yourself and take a good look inwards. I will hold your hand as you gaze inside. Give back to the world by giving to yourself. We need you.